Finding Comfort

I actually wrote this a few months ago, while my niece was having her surgery. It felt too real to share at the time, but I want to remember these feeling, this moment in time. I don't want it to be lost in a list of drafted, never published posts, so here it is.

My heart is so tired lately. All the worry, sadness, and truly amazing things happening around me everyday are exhausting.

I am finding some comfort in meditative stitching, working on a quilt that has been in the making for 9 years now, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And in appreciating how truly blessed I am by spending more time really watching and listening to my kids during the times I have them all to myself.

And in the fun and engaging distractions my Adobe Generation Pro courses give me when I need to quiet my mind.

And, in the kindness and generosity of friends who send meals for my sister's family, while they travel an impossibly rough road.

Wintery Pics

Is it bad form to post Christmas pics so long after the holiday? Probably, but I love this picture so much. I snapped it in my early morning fog, from my viewing spot on the sofa, just seconds before dragging my sleepy butt back to bed. The kids were up early this year. 4:30 to be exact.

Yeah, so Christmas morning nap, was not optional this year.

We had a wonderful holiday with family and friends, and fun and food. We've totally obliterated any semblance of routine or schedule with endless hours of video games and new books and puzzles and a little bit of fun in the snow when the sun was shining. There is just something about the combination of snow and sunshine that is irresistible.

The Kindle Fires Santa delivered have us all in a trance, my husband and myself included. Why did no one ever tell me about Temple Run? Oh, yeah, because I can become extremely obsessed with those silly, pointless games. (There is a span of a few months, shortly after my husband and I started dating, that is sort of a big Tetris blur for me.) Every morning. This is how I find them every morning.

These early days of the new year always have a hang over feel to them. We've started to loose the holiday buzz, and the lazy days lacking our normal routines are wearing on us. So, as we groggily emerge from our junk food comas, I am trying to nudge us back to normal.

It's difficult, though, because we can't just return to the pre-holiday routine. You never can go back, you know. Just a few short weeks, but already we're all so different. And, with new toys and tools needing our attention and time, a new schedule must be forged.

This was not at all my intended direction for this post. I kinda love when that happens. It's like I'm telling myself, no no no, that's not what's really on your mind. Here let me show you what you've been working through while running that little animated character through the treacherous temple run. Let me clue you in on what happens when you ignore your original inspiration to write, putting off blog post after blog post. Much like those routines you can never really return to those original thoughts.

Which had something to do with challenging myself to take wintery photos every day to help get through this dark and cold season. A little push to get myself outside more often and remind myself of all that I truly love about Michigan winters, because I really do, I love all the snow and the crisp air, I just forget sometimes.

I'll leave you with a quick update on my niece. I know some of you have been wondering and hoping all is well, and it is. As well as we can hope for under the circumstances. Her surgery went better than expected, she recovered quickly and was home for Thanksgiving dinner with the family. Radiation is done, and although it took a toll on her poor little body, she did well. She is back to her chemo schedule, with a break for the holidays and has reached the halfway point. She spends as much time as she can playing in the snow and enjoying every minute of those good days, surrounded by the people who love her.

Hoping your holidays were filled with good food, loving family and fun. And, may the new year live up to your every wish.

Ramblings with Unrelated Photos

Well, I suppose we do trial runs for a reason. All that progress with my fabric was a bit of bust or at least not quite as perfect as I'd thought. I'm testing out my pattern. You know the one I promised over a year and a half ago?

Yeah, that one. it's finally ready to go, but somehow, when I put it down so long ago I didn't finish estimating the amount of fabric required and for some reason put a ridiculously low number for the trim and tie fabric. I knew it seemed fishy when I was buying the fabric but, wanted to stick with what I'd written for my trial run. I didn't realize it until I went to start cutting over the holiday weekend and by then it was too late to head back to the fabric store for more.

Luckily I've been taking Heather's 30 Day Vegan course, and my energy level and focus have skyrocketed. It' amazing, I'm more patient with the kids, my husband and I have started doing morning yoga again and I'm getting so much more done every day. I don't know if it's just the better food, the half hour of exercise and meditation or taking time out of every day to focus on myself, but I'm feeling great.

I'm sure I'll have my pattern ready in no time, but right now, I've got to make some delicious vegan lunch, take some pictures of the prettiest little ballerinas I know and get back to that fabric store before the baseball game tonight.

A Weakness for Popcorn

I've slacked on getting dinner started again, it's getting late, moods are deteriorating and my patience is dwindling fast. Frantically I'm looking for the HUGE 12.5lb tub of popcorn, calling to the kids to see who saw it last, wondering how on earth I could have misplaced such a ginormous thing. When, out of my bedroom walks my son, an apologetic smile on his face, trying to contain a giggle, carrying the very tub of popcorn I am searching for. I stare confused and ask why the popcorn was in my room, how did he know it was in there, who put it in there. I Repeat my questions assuming his little sister had decided she needed it for some game of make believe. Then, I ask him if he put the popcorn in my bedroom. He answers quietly, still working to contain the giggle while trying to sound sorry, "yes. I hid it because I was mad at you."

Hiding the popcorn from me!? Has it come to this?  

A few minutes later I'm happily shoveling handfuls of freshly popped deliciousness into my mouth, good moods and patience restored, and thinking about how well this boy of mine knows me and, how glad I am that, because of this silly trick he pulled, we were able to laugh about our earlier disagreement.

We are enjoying all the popcorn love on the internet these days. Tonight we finally tried Amanda's January popcorn and are looking forward to trying more recipes in her year of popcorn.

I miss blogging

I don't take as many photos anymore. I have way more started but, unfinished sewing projects without that push to get it done and post it already. I don't really get into much personal stuff on my blog but, I miss the way it marks the passing of time for me, the way the subtle clues I leave myself remind me of a certain day, or event, or adventure.

My baby girl, who is so not at all a baby anymore, loves pandas right now. The game they're playing here really isn't much fun and I think most of it's parts have found their way out of the house, but the mask, the mask she kept. Because, who doesn't love pretending to be a cute, sweet and lovable little panda every now and then?

I've figured out the issue with the photos, I just have to change the way I upload them. I really do want to find a way to make a little money but, I have a hard time pulling myself away from all that I feel I need to do. Kid care, food, cleaning. But, I'm also learning that there has to be time for me too. I'm working on it. My kids, obviously, are not babies anymore and while in some ways that means less time (driving a million places for all the things they're into) it also means they need less help from me day to day and they're capable of pitching in and freeing up more time when we are home. Any way, I'm not giving up on my shop, or on moving to a fresh, new, pretty site, but for now I'll be back with my usual silly posts and attempts at pretty pictures.

Welcome summer

Sharing My History

I was able to spend some time this past weekend with some people and places I haven't seen in a very long time.

Sharing this piece of my history with my husband and kids meant so much to me and having them with me as we said goodbye was so very comforting.

It's been a little crazy over here. Two weekends in a row spent out of town means insane laundry piles, a struggle to re-establish a family/homeschooling rhythm and that the Christmas decorations are just now coming down. I want to take some time to absorb all that was this past weekend, to remember those bits of my childhood and, with a birthday coming I'm in a mad rush to put this place back together again. I will be back here soon, there is just a little too much life happening right now.

Totally in Love With. . .

. . . My niece's Christmas wish list, found in my inbox this morning.

Homebrew Love

His first attempt at a Belgian style brew. Look at the frothy, lacy head. I think lacy is my new favorite term for describing beer. I heard it for the first time last year at a beer class at Ann Arbor Brewing Company, a class about Belgian beers, and it describes the effect of the froth clinging to the side of the glass as you drink. So pretty and so yummy.

I wish I had more pictures to share but, beer brewing, and drinking, tend to happen in the later parts of the day when the light is just not that great.

There has been quite a bit of brewing happening lately. Friends and family (really the same thing around here) interested in learning to brew and my hub's interest in trying some new recipes means anyone visiting us is sure to be offered a pint upon arrival. I'm anxious to try the pumpkin spice myself, or maybe some of that cider he's got cooking. But, really, my favorite part is the way the house smells while making the wort, that sweet tea aroma filling the kitchen, and the time spent together while it does.

Red and Green

Even our strawberry plants are playing along. Oh yeah, the snow. Gone. Hope there's more for Christmas.

It's Late

It's after midnight. I should be asleep, but silly me, having a cup of tea just before dinner. The first snow is covering the deck. The moon is full, it casts such an eerie light on everything. We've been sick. He's been working too much, early mornings, long days. I miss him.

He mentioned I needed to post something, I didn't think he followed.

Totally in Love With . . .

. . .the fact that he has to wear his football helmet and football P.J.'s to play 500 :)

Totally in Love with . . .

. . .The way she draws her people with bellybuttons, toes and punk hair, but no arms.

A Fall Tour

Mushrooms discovered along a deer trail leading from our yard. It appears the deer have been munching on some of these and pretty much all the wild apples that had fallen from the trees around them. The deer thankfully, however, did not disturb our garden even once this summer.

It's a good thing fall has such beautiful color, because I'm not really ready for summer to be over or for the cold wet months ahead. Although I am excited about our winter sports this year, with the youngest being old enough to join in.

The kids "secret" hide out tucked just behind the garden. I love that they have hide away, a place all their own. They take their friends and cousins back there, climb the trees and dream up BIG plans for a small castle in the branches.


One last little surprise in the garden. What a sweet bitty pumpkin. The kids have all claimed it as their own, but I don't think I'll be letting any of them carve up this little guy. Welcome fall.

Saying No

I am usually one of those mom's who touts the benefits of saying yes more. Who has stories about the wonderful things that happen when I consider the requests from my kids to go to the beach or visit a friend or relative. Who can see all the learning that takes place when I say yes, I will help you build a catapult, sew a quilt, or get out the messy paints.

But, every once in a while, some pretty great stuff happens when I say no too. No, Mommy really doesn't feel like reading a story right now. No, I'm not cooking eggs for breakfast this morning. No, Mommy's not going to help you tie your shoes right now. No, I'm not in the mood for a big craft project today.

When I say no to my kids, even when it feels a  bit cruel, (really who says no to a story!?) sometimes, it's just the encouragement they need to figure it out for themselves or work together without mom. And boy does it feel good to see them grow a little while doing it. Maybe I can look at it, not so much as saying no, but as, yes, you can do that all by yourself now.

One of Those Days

pretty weed in my yard

 Today was supposed to be a nice productive day. A nature hike down a new trail we discovered, which would be some much needed exercise for mommy, and some quick errands to grab new school supplies. The start of a new, more routine, story time and with it, a new book or two. Figuring out a schedule that will get each kid to their sporting events and practices on time. A discussion with the kids about expectations, theirs and mine, for the next few months (in my mind an exciting conversation about what they're interested in learning about). And, with whatever time might be left over, some work in the garden filling in the holes left by the ending of our cucumbers, zucchini and squash.

Pumpkin love :) this ones a peanut pumpkin

 Instead, I scratched the van and my brother-in-law's truck pulling out of the drive. The hike was a mosquito infested nightmare that ended shortly after it began. The van is acting weird, I hope it's not the transmission again. The kids are moody and grumpy and don't even want to sit still, let alone discuss interesting topics to study for the next few months. And I'm moody and grumpy because nothing is going the way I want it to today.

fairy tale pumpkin, my favorite

 I'm thinking it's time to just scrap the day, crawl back in bed and start over. Maybe call it a beach day and embrace the last few bits of summer? And there's always the garden, it wont pick a fight with me or it's siblings and I'm pretty sure any damage I do to it I can fix without the help of a mechanic.

Treasures From Grandma's House

I recently inherited some wonderful little treasures that belonged to my grandma. She passed away a long time ago, when I was in college. I don't think I would have appreciated them if I'd received them back then.

W.I.P.

So interesting

So excited to start this one. Our first and favorite read aloud chapter book was "The Wizard of Oz"

Funny, interesting, can't wait to dive in and see how things change (or how they don't)

Her luggage, with her initials still on it :)